Today I am running on caffeine and baby cwtches...motherhood can be so tough. I am so grateful and blessed to have my 2 boys, but last night exhaustion almost had me defeated...
Between my toddler calling me to put him on the toilet not once, but 6 or 7 times - every time I nodded off it seemed (he appears to have an extra sensory perception of when I fall asleep!), breast feeding my new baby every few hours who just cannot bring up his own wind without a large amount of 'winding' after every feed, my partner just putting a pillow over his head to block out the calls and cries of both, I was so exhausted...especially after a long day of toddler tantrums, breastfeeding and general mum duties...
I sat cross legged on the bathroom floor with my head in my hands on the verge of tears...I almost admitted defeat. But then I took a deep breath, and I realised something... 'I got this'...a mantra that got me through my labour too... I am a strong woman, a force to be reckoned with... I am capable of this and so much more, I have survived far worse, & there are women out there dealing with and overcoming much much more than i can even imagine, with poise and unbelievable strength. What's a little fatigue when I am so loved and so needed by 2 beautiful little souls... mindfulness brought me back from the edge of despair and reminded me to have gratitude...
I climbed back into bed, fed my new baby once more, and started to doze while trying to bring up his wind, only to be woken abruptly to him literally covering me and my bed in beautiful baby sick 😂 oh the joys and glamour of motherhood... it was genuinely like a comedy sketch 🙈
You know what though, It's absolutely ok to admit defeat sometimes, it's absolutely ok to be that person crying on the bathroom floor ! So never beat yourself up for it. But remember you are strong and you are capable of so much more than you give yourself credit for! It's all about our attitude...some days we cope better than others...but you are strong and powerful. Never forget it...
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